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YOU ARE NOT A SPERM WHALE (or, THINK BEFORE YOU EAT)

GOBBLERWOCKY

A sperm whale will eat anything—a side effect of swallowing food whole.

This is one of many bits of digestive trivia being fed to me by Mary Roach’s Gulp: Adventures on the Alimentary Canal. At one point, looking at a photograph of objects retrieved from sperm whale bellies, the author writes: ‘It’s like Jonah set up housekeeping: a jug, a cup, a tube of toothpaste, a strainer, a wastebasket, a shoe, a decorative figurine.’ [See endnote.]

But sperm whales are not the only sinners here. Have you ever met a toddler?

Thirty years before she turned mommy, Chikita was caught eating her own poop. A few years earlier, her big brother had downed a cockroach. Even our own Munchkin has been guilty of sampling Sugar the dog’s ass kabobs (our poor Mother remains traumatized to this day).

I, however, was a far more restrained and hygienic child. In fact…

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This entry was posted on June 15, 2015 by in Uncategorized.
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